tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32275416050205608602024-02-20T11:56:56.008-08:00The Battle in Seattle: Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer and other annoyances."Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Rosanna CashTeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-18563043780379936802010-04-27T10:04:00.000-07:002010-04-27T10:33:48.340-07:00Komen 3Day-Support my Friend Angie JamesHi! I know it has been a long, long time since I have posted anything. Believe me it is not for a lack of content.....it is a lack of time.<br /><br />My friend Angie James is walking in the Komen 3Day for the 4th time. I am posting this link to her web page so that you can donate. To be able to participate a walker must earn $2300 in donations. So far Angie is at 34%. I know times are tough but any amount helps. If 230 people gave $10 she would be golden. Since over 10,000 people have looked at my blog we should be able to get her to her goal.<br /><br />I know that everyone is continually being asked to donate money to one cause or another. I like to look at this as an <strong>opportunity</strong> for you to donate so my friend can walk in this event. I also like to use the "Girl Scout Cookie" model. If I buy cookies from my neighbor Maddie I have supported the Girl Scouts and helped Maddie on the way to getting her badge for sales. I can then say to anyone else that asks I have already bought my cookies from Maddie. This gives me an honest way to decline at Safeway when another little girl asks me to buy from her. Then I don't have to avert my eyes and run into the store while ignoring the other Girl Scouts.<br /><br />So it is with the Komen 3Day walk. If you donate to Angie and her team you can say that you already donated to the walk. After that you are golden until September. You might even be able to ride that donation through Pink October a.k.a Breast Cancer Awareness Month.<br /><br />Angie has dedicated her walk to me and another friend who was just diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. This woman had been insured her entire life but with the current economy she is without medical insurance. The metastatic disease has spread <strong>everywhere</strong> because she could not get her mammogram this year as she had no health insurance.<br /><br />Take a look at Angie's page and become inspired. She is an amazing woman and friend and all of us from the trenches surviving breast cancer we are grateful for every dollar that is earned and every mile that is walked.<br /><br />Let's find a cure and save the boobies! (.)(.)TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-29318099243246169042010-02-17T02:54:00.000-08:002010-02-17T04:34:32.371-08:00CHANGE URL FROM WWW.TEAMHYRA.BLOGSPOT.COMThe new URL for the website will be www.meeshopolis.blogspot.com. After 10 years (teamhyra@msn.com registered 9/14/2000) I will no longer be using TeamHyra as an identifier for my online URLs or emails. There is no Meesh in TeamHyra. Look for an upcoming change in my email, facebook and other accounts that were attached to the "TeamHyra" name.<br /><br />More fascinating info on team trades, free agents, the injured reserve, the second string, the locker room and the Hyrettes to follow.<br /><br />MeeshTeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-41325744088980550132009-09-19T09:34:00.000-07:002009-09-20T11:16:17.843-07:00RE-MISSION IMPOSSIBLE? OR POSSIBLEAll had been quiet on the blog front because I have just been soldiering on through my 6 cycles of Avastin and Abraxane. My final treatment for this series, which began in April, is September 25th. I was prepared to have a PET scan (the 1st one since February when I had 13 new active cancer spots on my skeleton) after the 25th and then consult with Dr. K. He was not satisfied with this situation because if the outcome was that I was to remain on the Avastin and Abraxane we would get off of our established schedule. Cancer buggers can do a lot while the proverbial "mice" of chemotherapy are away. So, I had a PET scan this last Wednesday and consulted with Dr. K. yesterday on Friday.<br /><br />I had prepared myself for the worst. These scans really do a number on me. I get a bad case of "scanxiety" and continually imagine that I am going to hear, "It didn't work at all and we are going to have to move onto Door #3 and you are going to have to have a harsher drug and it is going to suck more than you can imagine and blah, blah, blah." I suppose that this is a coping mechanism, of sorts, because when you are a mets girl to even allow yourself to think that something is going to go right is just not something that we do. We prepare for the worst and hope for something on the scale just above the worst and this is progress. It really is absurd because we all want to live in a place of hopefulness, a place where our condition will somehow change from a death sentence to life without parole.<br /><br />Well I guess the Governor of Cancer called up on the bat-phone and in a way commuted my sentence for the time being. Over the past 6 months I have heard Dr. K use the "R" word (remission) twice. I NEVER thought that remission was a possibility for me. I thought that even if the outcome of any treatment was good that there would still be metastatic disease on my skeleton and even thought it wasn't active it would always be there. The internal evidence of my scarlet letter "C."<br /><br />On Friday, I hadn't looked at my results and so Dr. K was the first one to read them to me. I literally felt like I was in the middle of a miracle moment as he shared my results with me. I had to make sure that he was reading MY results not someone elses. The PET scan sealed the deal. Because my CA 27-29 has gone from 150 to 70, my pain is all but disappeared with the exception of my low back which has all those collapsed vertebraes and fractures, I have been feeling better than ever since I have been diagnosed and according to some (not me) I look better than I have looked (even without any hair) since my diagnosis in July 2007 we were hopeful that the PET would reveal progress. I didn't imagine it would reveal a small miracle. <br /><br />Originally I had 6 tumors in my left breast and axilla. Many of them were big like baseball and golf ball size. Two had disappeared awhile ago, two were gone from this scan. I mean totally gone. The last two (baseball and golf ball) are down to 1cm by 1cm, they are petering out. The two last buggers are there but they are not doing well. They aren't thriving, they are dying. Good riddance. As far as my skeletal mets, which were EVERYWHERE in my body. THEY ARE GONE!!!!! There is no evidence of any disease with the exception of a small spot on my right 4th rib and possibly a spot on my pelvis, but that is probably a post-radiation spot not a cancer spot.<br /><br />To me this is just unbelievable. This chemotherapy/biotherapy/bone builder regime has worked and it has worked well. All the fatigue from the therapies and the pain from the marrow builders and the Thursday-Friday-Saturday trips to the cancer institute have been worth it and worth it in a way that is amazing. <br /><br />I'll give you a little quote from the report:<br />"There is remarkable interval decreased or complete resolution of abnormal activity see in the entire skeleton now." and "There is almost complete metabolic response of the osseous skeletal lesions." <br /><br />The plan is this. I will have 6 more treatments of the Abraxane and Avastin which will run me up to December 18th. I will be sending out an email blast for chemo buddies and Neulasta shot ride friends on Saturday. Dr. K believes that with the 6 more treatments that I could go into complete remission. Now, me being the metastatic pessimist I am not going to hold my breath BUT I will be visualizing the death of the final 3-4 spots that are left. <br /><br />Thank you all for the rides, sitting with me, playing with the girls, the meals, the support, sitting with me through the interminable chemo sessions. Thank you for the well-wishes, the prayers, the cards and the emails. Thank you for being a part of getting us this far. We couldn't have done it without your help. <br /><br />Most of all I have to thank my family without you three I wouldn't be able to make it through the treatments, and the tests and the shots. Matt, Anya and Mila this victory is yours. You have sacrificed so much to get me here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-17361831776546375602009-08-16T09:04:00.000-07:002009-08-16T09:17:47.729-07:00From A to Z it seems to be working for me.I haven't written anything in such a long time because I have been in a holding pattern to see if this new chemotherapy regimen was going to work. Well, according to the fabulous Dr. K it is working. The tumors in my left breast which were baseball and golf ball size respectively are now unpalpable except for a little almond sized bit he can still feel.<br /><br />On the whole my pain level is down so far I sometimes forget how bad it was a year ago. My Ca 27-29 in down to 70 which is the lowest it has been in over a year and so I would have to say that I am down with the Abraxane, Avastin and Zometa combo. Dr.K says that until we get a scan that we really have to look toward symptoms or lack therein to tell how we are doing. That coupled with the lowering tumor count means good news.<br /><br />The weird thing is that even with good news there is still this nagging feeling at the back of my head that comes to me every day when I wake (or every night when I can't sleep) that the cancer is still there and working hard on how to mutate to work against the Abraxane and Avastin. Maybe it will be awhile until this drug becomes obsolete, maybe not. We can only hope it is a long stop here at door #2.<br /><br />I have to send a real shout out to my friends. It seems as if my chemo buddies and my shot drivers and my other friends have been really coming out in droves to stay in touch during this very busy Summer. It means a lot to me because as I recover from the chemo for those 72 hours it is pretty isolated and lonely up here in the "big bed." Thanks for the calls, cards and notes, the texts and emails and visit. You are all keeping me going, you truly are.<br /><br />Well, on another note my oldest daughter Dizzy leaves for her first overnight camp on Tuesday. It is a horse camp at the Flying Horseshoe Ranch. My brother and I were recalling how we both went to the same camp for a few years when we were her age. What a legacy. She is so excited as she will be going with her cousin. What could be more fun.<br /><br />I promise to try to write more but it has been a busy Summer here too. Sometimes the blogging just isn't what you want to be doing when it is 103 degrees outside.<br /><br />Sending you all much love and thanks for your support.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-32889185699962383042009-06-11T19:25:00.000-07:002009-06-11T19:34:42.537-07:00Abraxane on the BrainWe finally have the system figured out. I will be going in for chemo every other week. My white count just couldn't handle the drugs this soon after radiation apparently.<br /><br />So on Thursdays I go in and get a blood draw to verify that my WBC count is low. Then I get a little shot in the arm of a drug called Neupagen. This is a short acting WBC booster. Fridays I get chemo of Abraxane and Avastin and monthly Zometa. Then Saturday I go back and get a little shot in the other arm of Neulasta a l-o-n-g acting WBC booster. Groovy schedule!!!!!! I have all these fabulous chaffeurs and chemo buddies that are unashamed of every trash magazine available. It is all working out great. Thanks to everyone who had made this new chapter just new not horrible. <br /><br />**********************************************************************************<br /><br />Here is a little article on Abraxane:<br /><br />Less Toxic Drug Prolongs Survival In Metastatic Breast Cancer<br />NewsRx.com<br /><br />June 4, 2009<br /><br />Research from the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine has found that a less toxic, solvent-free chemotherapy drug more effectively prevents the progression of metastatic breast cancer and has fewer side effects than a commonly used solvent-based drug. <br /><br />A national study led by William Gradishar, M.D., director of breast medical oncology at the Robert H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center of Northwestern University, found that the drug Abraxane prolonged progression-free survival by almost seven months compared with Taxotere, which is part of a class of solvent-based drugs called taxanes. <br /><br />"It nearly doubled progression-free survival," said Gradishar, who also is a professor of medicine at Northwestern's Feinberg School and a physician at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. <br /><br />The study will be published May 26 in the Journal of Clinical Oncology. <br /><br />Chemotherapy drugs need to be dissolved in a chemical, called the "delivery system", before they can be injected into the blood stream. Abraxane uses albumin, a human protein, to deliver the chemotherapy. It does not contain chemical solvents. The generic name for Abraxane is nab-paclitaxel. <br /><br />The study showed Abraxane also was much less toxic to patients. Gradishar said solvents are responsible for many of the side effects of chemotherapy including a drop in the white blood cell count and numbness or tingling in the fingertips. <br /><br />In the study, the Abraxane was administered on a weekly schedule compared to injections every three weeks of Taxotere. <br /><br />"This is a win-win finding," Gradishar said. "The weekly schedule of Abraxane has more anti-tumor effects and is better tolerated than Taxotere. There is also evidence that Abraxane is able to deliver the chemotherapy drug more effectively to the tumor." <br /><br />"These results suggest that weekly nab-paclitaxel may be an appropriate alternative to docetaxel (Taxotere) in the first-line treatment of patients with metastatic breast cancer," Gradishar said. <br /><br />The Phase II, open-label, randomized clinical study involved 300 patients with previously untreated metastatic, stage 4 breast cancer. The results were assessed by an independent radiology company and study investigators. The study was designed to evaluate the safety and efficacy of three doses of Abraxane versus the highest standard dose of Taxotere. <br /><br />Metastatic breast cancer is characterized by the spread of a malignant tumor from the breast to other parts of the body. It is estimated that nearly 155,000 women in the U.S. are currently living with metastatic breast cancer. <br /><br />Copyright 2009, Medicine & Law Weekly via NewsRx.comTeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-87793722811957346462009-05-19T11:39:00.000-07:002009-05-19T11:41:52.135-07:00Native American TraditionsMy dear friend Cindy just sent this along in an email. I love it so I am posting it so that you can read it too.<br /><br />"You may know this already, but in some native traditions, the head is shaved as part of a ritual. It is a symbol of shedding a layer. The ritual is used when someone is releasing or transforming a part of themselves from the past and stepping through a new gateway to the future, a metamorphosis. Even with the uncertainty of the future, you look beautiful and empowered as you step through this gateway."<br /><br />Thanks Cin-Cin. Isn't this a beautiful thought and image?TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-50752586756148026202009-05-18T10:26:00.000-07:002009-05-18T11:32:11.371-07:00OK I get it I need to blog more!So I haven't blogged since I started my radiation in April. I am so pleased to report that after THREE treatments I was virtually pain free on the right side. I am so impressed with how well area specific radiation works as well as the staff at Evergreen <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Hospital</span>. You walk into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">EHMC</span> and there are posters (featuring my favorite surgeon Dr. Marion Johnson) with their tag line, "Exceptional people, exceptional care." I think they nailed it on this one. My experience at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">EHMC</span> for radiation was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">phenomenal</span>.<br /><br />Well after having such relief with three treatments on the right side I thought let's do the left. Matt and I went in to consult with Dr. Eric Taylor and my new hip/pelvis/femur MRI on the left. Unfortunately, the cancer on the left is diffuse and it would be very difficult for Dr. Taylor to "hit" the correct spot. For this reason, as well as the fact that I would be starting chemotherapy soon, he could not radiate on the left side. My bone marrow just couldn't take it before embarking on chemotherapy. I think Dr. Taylor was the most disappointed in the room. The hips, pelvis and femurs really are the largest sources of bone marrow production in the body. One side was all I could handle before a course of chemotherapy but the pain relief on the right was worth it.<br /><br />I graduated from radiation on April 15<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">th</span> and was off to Philadelphia for the Living Beyond Breast Cancer meeting devoted to women with metastatic breast cancer. It was very informative and Elizabeth Edwards spoke. She is an amazing woman to hear speak. I would highly recommend her new book, "Resilience" for pondering many of life's issues beyond cancer.<br /><br />Once I returned from Philadelphia we had a planning meeting with Dr. K on a Tuesday. I was going to start a regimen of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Abraxane</span> (a chemotherapy) and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Avastin</span> (a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">biotherapy</span>) and keep going with my monthly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Zometa</span> (a bone builder.) I would have 3 weeks on and one week off getting my treatments on Fridays. It was a little confusing at first because week #1 is 2 drugs, week #2 is 1 drug and week #3 is 3 drugs then week #4 off. <br /><br />Once we got that on the calendar my sister-in-law went to work on an schedule for assistance. Thank you to everyone who answered the call for driving and picking up the girls, taking them to parties and school events, folding <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">laundry</span>, cleaning, helping me here at the house to not get frustrated with being home alone. You have all offered to be "chemo-buddies" so Matt doesn't have to take the day off work for weekly treatments. Also, I have to mention the meals that just keep on arriving and they are so good.<br /><br />Everyone seems to have something that they can do to help our family through this and you are all so generous with your time and energy. Most importantly, I would like to personally thank everyone, especially family, who have taken some of the burden off of Matt's plate. For the first time during this 22 month roller coaster ride I see Matt being able to do somethings for himself. Even if it is just to sit and watch a hockey game it is some time just for him where he can have some down time. With your assistance Matt can go to work, with less worry, and that is so important. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your help. We have an amazing village!!!<br /><br />So where are we now? I did 2 treatments and then went in for #3 and was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">neutropenic</span>. This is when your white blood cells are too low and the on-call doctor decided that I could not have chemotherapy that day. I have had a week and a half to get my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">WBC</span> back up. We will know on Wednesday the 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">oth</span>. Matt has been feeding me fish, and green leafy vegetables and I have been focusing on a healthy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">WBC</span> and my bone marrow working again. Our lives our hopelessly devoted to hand sanitizer and staying away from sick people (especially kids.) On that note, we really appreciate your candor when someone in your family is coming down with something. You know we would love to see you and the girls crave the play-dates but thanks for being aware of what a cold or the flu means at our house. <br /><br />We should be able to start round #2 on Friday the 22<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">nd</span>. Keep your fingers crossed. Just as the Abraxane manual said my hair began to fall out 14 days after my first treatment. At first is was just a little bit. By yesterday there was so much hair in the shower drain it filled a gallon zip-lock bag. We decided to shave it off. Petra, my hairstylist/next door neighbor (A Sense of Style in Woodinville is where she works) came over with the clippers and cut it off. She tried to give me a sassy, short do but as I knew it was too far gone so I got a buzz cut. Mila took pictures and we made it a fun day and finished up by reading, "The Best Nest." As any parent knows, Mr. and Mrs. Bird need 'man hair' for their best nest. The birds around here are going to have wall-to-wall carpeting in their nests.<br /><br />Thanks for the emails, phone calls and FaceBook notes of support about being bald. It is a really odd thing and I never really thought much of my hair until I saw it flying away into the yard. Your support means a lot. It is one of those weird life situations that is scary and liberating at the same time. Matt said, "It's very G.I. Jane" and I am good with that. Too bad the abs don't come with the buzz cut!TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-23982851373252190752009-04-05T11:10:00.000-07:002009-04-05T12:00:59.070-07:00Me & Shakira, our hips don't lie.Well can't really say that I am on tonight on any night for that matter. What I can say is that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Shakira</span> and I have something in common (I know it's hard to believe the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Colombian</span> bombshell and me) but it is true--OUR HIPS DON"T LIE. <br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Shakira</span> had this amazing control over her hips, any direction the most minute of movements. Me, on the other hand, I can trip over a 12 inch piece of ribbon. As many of you readers know I came back form our cruise in February and I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">caught</span> my heel on a jet way disembarking the plane. I felt the pain and thought that I had maybe broken my hip. About a month later after the pain just kept getting worse I had an MRI which did not show a fracture but instead showed the the disease in my hip had awakened from its slumber and was know growing like crazy. Then I fell, literally tripping on a piece of ribbon. I really understood that I was going downhill at this point. My acceptance-o-meter was on that day.<br /><br />So now we are dealing with two different issues 1) The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">elevated</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">DHEA</span> & Estrogen levels 2) The new hip pain that is beyond intense. While the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">endocrinologist</span> and Dr. K are working on the endocrine issue (which is probably what the hip is active again <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">because</span> it needs estrogen to grow) we now have this debilitating pain problem. It is affecting my quality of life in a negative way.<br /><br />Dr. K referred me to Dr. Eric Taylor at Evergreen. I went in to see him and much to my delight he told me in the first ten seconds where he did his undergrad, Med school, internship and residency. He told me how many patients he had treated and that he sat on the American Cancer Society Board for 8 out of the last 9 years. I loved this approach so that I did have to ask any of these questions. Matt swears that Dr. K must have called to warn him what a pain I am. I think it is just the way he does things.<br /><br />He <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">immediately</span> showed us axial, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">sagittal</span> and coronal view of my hip/pelvis/femur. It was amazing to correlate the pain with where the disease is at its worst. He showed me everything and I was very impressed with the breadth of his knowledge. His idea, get me in for 10 sessions as soon as possible. This way I would be able to fly to Philadelphia for the Advanced Breast Cancer Conference (where Elizabeth Edwards is the keynote speaker) in relative comfort. I asked the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">regular</span> questions, "Would it hurt?" and "Would it take a long time?" No to both. They actually got my in for my first treatment the same day. The staff is so incredibly, organized that I left <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">extremely</span> impressed. I have 8 more to go. You are only in the machine (which is a $4 million piece of equipment) for about 4 minutes. $1 million per minute. That's a great value.<br /><br />So lots of things have changed, I have my first tattoo. Granted it is only a pinprick to align to radiation beams but it is a tat nonetheless. Additionally, Dr. Taylor talked me into getting a cane. If only to let people know that I do have some sort of injury and that they should give me a wide berth. Matt had been asking me to get one for awhile but isn't the expert always from out of town? I sort of dig my little cane although it is in need of some serious bling. Plain black for match everything in my wardrobe. Would you expect anything less?<br /><br />So many of you may be wondering what this has to do with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Colombian</span> Pop Icon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Shakira</span> and me. Well, in her hit single "Hips Don't Lie" the lyrics read: "And I'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie, and I'm starting to feel it's right. All the attraction, the tension, don't you see baby this is perfection."<br /><br />I suppose simply put that after these 10 sessions my hips won't lie. If I can walk and roll over without pain then this is starting to feel right. The ease and quickness and paucity of side affects is the attraction. If I can start using less narcotic to handle the pain that this is even more attractive. The tension I can only attribute to the band the put around my feet to keep them still.<br /><br />See baby, this is perfection.<br /><br />A big thank you to everyone that has come to our assistance. My treatments are every day and this is the kid's Spring Break! I feel pretty out of it when I return home so we needed some help. You all came out of the woodwork to help. This, too, is perfection. We have amazing friends and family!TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-65355206180425876852009-03-28T11:21:00.000-07:002009-03-28T12:09:14.493-07:00Estrogen is crack & cancer is a junkie.I guess I have put it off long enough. I will now reveal to you all what has been going on. I caved to the multiple calls and emails politely asking, "Are you okay? Haven't heard from you and I'm worried." or just those of you that are brazen enough to write, "What the fuck is up?"<br /><br />I had a MRI of the right hip/pelvis/femur 2 weeks ago and the bone mets have woken up and are back in action. My CA 27-29 took a 40 point jump and my oncologist said maybe that the spike in tumor markers coupled with my pain was probably indicative of new activity. The pain in my hip has become unbearable. I can barely walk and simple things like getting in the car, getting in and out of bed and stairs send me through the roof with pain. I am already on round-the-clock sustained release pain killers and have had to take more meds than ever for breakthrough pain. <br /><br />My extremely aggressive cancer it acting extremely aggressive again. I had a Breast MRI and Mammogram last week. Two new tumors in the left breast. The right one, for the time being is clear.<br /><br />I got in to see the Endocrinologist about my elevated estrogen and high DHEA levels and she told me that she had never seen anything like this. She was my kind of clinician. To the point, friendly and to wrap up my appointment she said she needed to go, so she could start looking at my films. I like someone who makes me feel like she is on it. She said when and if we get to the bottom of this medical mystery (she didn't bite at my 3rd ovary theory) she will have to write a paper for submission BECAUSE IT IS SO STRANGE! Freaks & Geeks on the Discovery channel here I come! She has some ideas about what it might be:<br /><br /> 1. Adrenal hyperplasia<br /> 2. An estrogen secreting tumor on the adrenal glands<br /> 3. Some ovarian tissue that was left after hysterectomy<br /><br />I asked if the adrenal glands can be removed and apparently one can have an adrenalectomy. There is a local surgeon that does the procedure. Problem is that the adrenal glands secrete "life necessary" (her words) hormones like cortisol. So, if I had the adrenals taken out it could potentially cause a whole host of endocrine related problems and I would have to take supplemental hormones for the rest of my life. This is not an attractive option to me.<br /><br />She also said that a round of chemo might be prudent. Even though the endocrinologist, my gynecologist and my oncologist don't know what it is that is elevating the estrogen and DHEA levels it is clear that the cancer is feeding off the estrogen and causing growth.<br /><br />Matt and I saw Dr. K today and he said that he could see it in my face that I am in agony. He said because I don't complain about pain this must be serious. He said I can't live in pain like this. It is probably not helping to contain the cancer spread if I am constantly in pain. I am off to get the hip radiated next week. I am fine with this because it should help within 2-3 weeks and apparently the side effects are minimal.<br /><br />Then he said that I should probably prepare myself for some "tame" chemo. He doesn't know what kind yet and won't until he chats with the endocrinologist but it might start in May. It feels like everyone is looking to chemo to sort of interrupt the process or just kill it. It will work, of this I am certain.<br /><br />So for now I am a little cranky and a little scared and a little angry. I hate these times when I am supposed to be accepting my "new normal." My "new normal" sucks. I want my "old normal" back. <br /><br />I know that you are all out there rooting for us, praying for us and just waiting for something you can do. Don't worry we will be calling on friends/family soon. I am trying to get a lot of rest and have good pain control. Matt is displaying his rock solid command of the home and work front. He is busy preparing for what the future holds for our family. We will know more after Thursday when we meet with the radiation doctor.<br /><br />So for now please no calls. Emails and texts are cool. We need to talk to the girls first.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-67908182567573831232009-03-09T11:20:00.000-07:002009-03-09T12:50:53.636-07:00Young Survivor Conference in DallasI returned from the YSC conference in Dallas and I am happy to report that this year was quite different than last year. Better, stronger, faster...............<br /><br /><br /><br />Last year the conference was in Jacksonville, Florida. That is a long flight. My flying buddy had an anxiety attack (the likes of which I have NEVER seen) and had to deplane before we left Seattle. It was so annoying (not her panic) but the flight attendants. OMG they kept saying, "We have seen this before and she will be F-I-N-E once we are airborne."<br /><br />I looked to my friend and responded, "Does that look FINE to you? She is clearly not FINE. She needs to get off this plane." She was a puddle of goo.<br /><br />They said, "We have already moved away from the jet-way, she'll be FINE."<br /><br />There was quite a bit of back and forth and I said, "Just back the G.D. plane up and let her off or we are going to have a real problem." Fortunately, they did and she was fine.<br /><br /><br /><br />So this was how my first trip to the YSC conference started. I long flight (red-eye) worrying about my friend and thinking that this was a sign, a bad one.<br /><br /><br /><br />When I arrived in Jax everything felt surreal. It seemed like everyone else knew what to do but I didn't. They knew where to go, they had friends there, they had little treatment groups that bopped around the conference together with matching T-shirts. Basically, unlike me, they all had it together or knew someone or read the instructions. I was just totally overwhelmed. The pink factor was so high is was nauseating. It was a sea of pink.<br /><br /><br /><br />Red sea, Blue sea, Pink sea, get me out of here now!<br /><br /><br /><br />Everyone at the conference was delineated by a plastic lei. Blue for caregivers and yellow for health-care workers. Purple, green, white for years of survival, white being less than one year. Orange for mets. There I was dazed and confused and my albatross was a white and an orange plastic lei. I have mets and have had it for less than one year. I felt like Hester Prynne with her scarlet "A."<br /><br /><br /><br />Here is what really blew my mind. I looked out into this large group of women with breast cancer that are under the age of 40 who have the time, the home support and the money to attend this conference and all I see is the orange and white. I know it is just like when you get a new car and then all you see on the road is that new car but it was so representative of the horror of this disease. These women at the conference were the fortunate few. How many others were out there with MBC who weren't represented there in Jacksonville with plastic leis.<br /><br /><br /><br />I spent a lot of time in my room. I was so physically exhausted and emotionally sick that I couldn't bear it. I made friends with 4 women at the conference: Danica, Valerie, Beth and Dayna. That was it. The only people I really interacted with the whole weekend. Then on the way to the airport when I was just about to completely fall apart due to pain, both physical and mental, some BC sisters took care of me. They didn't know me but they could see the anguish, heck they could probably smell it coming off of me like an odor. Diane, Yuri and Heather probably saved me in that moment at the airport. Without them I probably would not have made it home (in all senses of the word.)<br /><br /><br /><br />This year I set up some exit options and some alternative activities which was a good thing for me. I came in on Thursday and had dinner with my girlfriends Anne and Eileen. We went to this amazing restaurant that was opened by a guy who went to my high school!!! Apparently there is a large contingent of people from Washington who have moved to Dallas. Who knew? Then my friend Eileen stayed on until Saturday. I could go to the workshops and catch up with folks and then come back to my room and chill and hang out with Eileen. Just having these little things to do that weren't centered around breast cancer completely changed my outlook and thus changed my experience at the conference.<br /><br /><br /><br />I had a really good time. I learned a lot, I hooked up with a lot of women I only email with on the YSC boards or FaceBook and I danced and had Taco Bueuno! I wasn't overwhelmed and it wasn't info overload. I feel so lucky that I could go. I really owe this opportunity to Matt. Matt can handle the home front with an adroitness most Mom's don't have. He makes this soirees possible and I really thank him for that. There are many other women who could not attend solely because their husbands could not handle home life without them (hometards.) Thanks again sweetie heart!<br /><br /><br /><br />I kept my eyes open. I saw Dayna, Diane and Valerie. They looked wonderful and all reported wellness in their worlds. Beth, Yuri and Heather couldn't make it this year and sadly Danica passed last year. I wrote a little remembrance card for her. She was a bright spot in the darkness of my 1st YSC conference.<br /><br /><br /><br />At my 2nd YSC Conference I was on the lookout for the girl with the orange and white plastic leis with fear in her eyes and anguish in her heart. If she was there I didn't see her. I have graduated to orange and green leis and clearly that makes all the difference.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-91652482374569891922009-03-01T08:19:00.000-08:002009-03-09T12:50:22.950-07:00Cruisin'Matt has made all the arrangements and we are going on a cruise! I can't believe it! I never thought I was the kind of person who would be a 'cruiser' but now I welcome it. This trip was amazing! Maui was an amazing trip too but unfortunately because I can't carry anything Matt became the Sherpa for our family. On this cruise we got to unpack, sit back and relax. The heaviest thing Matt had to lift for most of the trip was a beer.<br /><br /><br /><br />We left out of Miami which is an ENORMOUS port. Our ship was the Carnival Valor. We had two "fun" days at sea and stopped at the port of Belize City, Rhotan Island Honduras, Cozumel Mexico and Grand Caymans. Each stop had something completely wonderful about it. In the Caymans we took the girls to "hang with the manta rays" and in Cozumel they got to "swim with the dolphins." These are experiences they will never forget and we did it as a family. The other two ports we just did beach days. It was so nice to just go to these white sand beaches and play in the water and drink beers under the palapa.<br /><br /><br /><br />Cruising is really a hobby verging on sport for some. There are websites devoted to cruising. Cruisers post by their profiles how many times they have been and all the ships they have been on. I have nothing to compare but I thought the ship was lovely. It was so clean and the staff was so helpful and kind. There was always something going on and there was a camp set up for the kids. We were really fortunate to be on the top floor of the ship that had staterooms. This was a huge plus!! We had a balcony and nice neighbors (all seasoned cruisers stay on the top deck!) It was tight quarters but tight in a fun way. The girls were fascinated by the bed that popped out of the ceiling. Additionally, our steward made a different animals out of towels everyday for the girls. At the end of the cruise you could purchase the book "How to make towel animals" at home if you wanted too. We passed.<br /><br /><br /><br />The amount of food and the ability to get food any time day or night was absurd. There were probably 10 restaurants, 6 buffets, 5 short order windows. I put on 10 pounds during the trip. Basically a pound a day for 10 days of vacation. That is what makes it so attractive because the food in all included. It's the alcohol that gets you...............always does.<br /><br /><br /><br />When we got into Miami on the return we stayed overnight at a hotel because we had a really early flight. To complete our trip we had dinner at the Hooter's in Miami. It was voted the #1 Hooters for 2007 and 2008. The award for for gross sales not cup size I found out. The amount of money those gals made in tips was probably astounding. It was the perfect end to a wonderful vacation where we spent our time laughing at ourselves and at others.<br /><br /><br /><br />We returned to rainy, snowy Seattle tanned, rested and relaxed. It was an awesome vacation and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am a cruiser now!TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-5545218641872952102009-01-19T11:05:00.000-08:002009-01-19T11:11:14.966-08:00On not 'beating' cancerOn not 'beating' cancer<br />by Brian Doyle, Guest opinion<br />Saturday January 17, 2009, 7:17 AM<br /><br />Martial words reflect illusory mind-set against illness<br /><br />Finally, this morning, enough -- I read one too many journalistic references to someone's "beating" cancer, as if cancer was an opponent to be defeated, an enemy to be conquered, a battle in which courage often wins the day.<br /><br />It is a lie. Cancer is to be endured, that's all. The best you can hope for is to fend it off, like a savage dog, but cancer isn't defeated, it only retreats, is held at bay, retires, bides its time, changes form, regroups. It may well be that the boy who survives an early cancer lives a long and lovely life, without ever enduring that species of illness again, but the snarl of it never leaves his heart, and you'll never hear that boy say he defeated the dark force in his bones.<br /><br />Use real words. Real words matter. False words are lies. Lies sooner or later are crimes against the body or the soul. I know men, women and children who have cancer, had cancer, died from cancer, lived after their cancer retreated, and not one of them ever used military or sporting metaphors that I remember.<br /> <a name="more"></a><br />All of them spoke of endurance, survival, the mad insistence of hope, the irrepressibility of grace, the love and affection and laughter and holy hands of their families and friends and churches and clans and tribes. All of them were utterly lacking in any sort of cockiness or arrogance; all of them developed a worn, ashen look born of pain and patience; and all of them spoke not of winning but of waiting.<br /><br />A great and awful lesson is contained there, it seems to me, something that speaks powerfully of human character and possibility. For all that we speak, as a culture and a people, of victory and defeat, of good and evil, of hero and coward, none of it is quite true. The truth is that the greatest victory is to endure with grace and humor, to stay in the game, to achieve humility.<br /><br />I know a young man with brain cancer. He's 16 years old. He isn't battling his cancer. He is enduring it with the most energy and creativity and patience he can muster. He says the first year he had cancer was awful because of the fear and vomiting and surgery and radiation and chemotherapy and utter exhaustion. But he says that first year was also wonderful because he learned to savor every moment of his days. He met amazing people he would never have met, and his family and friends rallied behind him with ferocious, relentless humor. He learned he was a deeper and stronger and more inventive and more patient soul than he had ever imagined.<br />He also learned about fear, he says, because he was terrified, and remains so, but he learned that he can sometimes channel his fear and turn it into the energy he needs to raise money for cancer research. Since being diagnosed with cancer, he has helped raise nearly $100,000, which is remarkable.<br /><br />I met a tiny, frail nun once, in Australia, while walking along a harbor, and we got to talking. She said no one defeats cancer; cancer is a dance partner you don't want and don't like, but you have to dance, and either you die or the cancer fades back into the darkness at the other end of the ballroom. I never forgot what she said, and think she is right, and the words we use about cancers and wars matter more than we know.<br /><br />Maybe if we celebrate grace under duress rather than the illusion of total victory we will be less surprised and more prepared when illness and evil lurch into our lives, as they always will; and maybe we will be a braver and better people if we know we cannot obliterate such things, but only wield oceans of humor and patience and creativity against them.<br /><br />We have an untold supply of those extraordinary weapons, don't you think?<br /><br />Brian Doyle is the editor of Portland Magazine at the University of Portland, and the author most recently of "Thirsty for the Joy: Australian & American Voices."TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-21205730607843967182009-01-11T16:59:00.000-08:002009-01-11T17:11:59.910-08:00POKER TOURNAMENT CANCELLEDI am sad to report that due to unforseen circumstances the first Poker Tournament of 2009 has been cancelled/postponed. The Hostess (with the Mostess) has had a family emergency. Look forward to receiving a new notification when the storm has passed.<br /><br />Wasn't the flyer the sassiest?? Please take the Saturday, January 17th off the calendar.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-35592160774529763242009-01-05T20:42:00.000-08:002009-01-05T21:41:15.566-08:00Breast Cancer Lottery Winners<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOXE6kCoeVMh3VFkjzhj9YcAXubjv0wZan5v8ubQcG2DaY47HO5ATR3cAWWXPT_gedjGAKUITk0IEdl2WuArjZ7FZGuLp9sY3g_h8caOSZJef4XDG0HJXv5pnB6VwFjAb6oD09aLqmKM4/s1600-h/KH.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 172px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOXE6kCoeVMh3VFkjzhj9YcAXubjv0wZan5v8ubQcG2DaY47HO5ATR3cAWWXPT_gedjGAKUITk0IEdl2WuArjZ7FZGuLp9sY3g_h8caOSZJef4XDG0HJXv5pnB6VwFjAb6oD09aLqmKM4/s320/KH.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288040718301729282" /></a><br /><br />Christmas 2007 I wasn't driving so I was picked up by a YSC member who lived in South Seattle. She had come to me in Woodinville via Factoria and we were going to Ballard my first YSC holiday potluck with a cutthroat, pink elephant gift exchange. It was snowing or raining or something that made the traffic really bad. All in all I think it took her 3 hours to get to the party.<br /><br />I met K for the first time at that party. We were both examining the fare. She said, "Hi! I'm K. You're the new girl with mets right?" I am sure I answered in the affirmative, while secretly wondering what in the world I was doing at this party. "Yeah I have mets too." I had the right disease so I was in. Things were looking up. I just needed to learn the secret handshake and I was golden. <br /><br />This small gathering of one boobed, two boobed, no boobed, foobed and pre-foobed gals with tram flaps and lat flaps and implants'o'plenty. These were my new peeps. You didn't even have to throw mardi gras beads for these chicks to show you their tits. I liked them immediately! They were loud and funny and drinking and eating. All things I was familiar with. I prayed they liked me too because the other support group of 50-60 year old women with breast cancer really wasn't a good fit.<br /><br />K. came back and said something that has always stuck with me. You wouldn't think so but her words were so profound. She said, "So you know we're the breast cancer lottery winners right?" I paused.......Stage IV terminal breast cancer and somehow this little red headed sprite likened it to winning the lottery. I was intrigued. "Didn't know that. Never really thought of it as one for the win column." I replied. K. said, "Oh yeah! We won the lottery! We are Stage IV and we don't have to go through all the other stages. We won the lottery."<br /><br />Now many people won't really understand this little anecdote and what she revealed to me about her outlook, her acceptance, her fight, her resolve and her love of life. I do. I get it K. You did win the lottery, you did. Your numbers came up and you were the winner girlfriend. I will never, ever look at this disease and this life the same way because you turned it into a win, a rebate of sorts. It is reported that many people win the lottery and then totally screw up their lives. Not K. she relished every minute.<br /><br />This year at the YSC Holiday potluck cutthroat pink elephant party I ended up with the gift K brought. A matching pair of pink hats. I model it in the picture below which is not suitable for young children or the overly uptight. K. looking like a lottery winner next to me. I'll miss you girlfriend.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbImqH0Z4dhukuMxC_dUM483GbHaD1LfdbB3MWySn41rcPtry2BotM0YVLRNp08KY1ouDSe3xAcmX2Qj_pPpVuiaDpZSZ0geDyfLEwlSMTVVmrOCexIRzrlHpqv3sZNbPDDRYJ0BOe9LE/s1600-h/Kdawg.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbImqH0Z4dhukuMxC_dUM483GbHaD1LfdbB3MWySn41rcPtry2BotM0YVLRNp08KY1ouDSe3xAcmX2Qj_pPpVuiaDpZSZ0geDyfLEwlSMTVVmrOCexIRzrlHpqv3sZNbPDDRYJ0BOe9LE/s320/Kdawg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288048823014726674" /></a>TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-86478555181474476152008-11-13T10:24:00.001-08:002008-11-13T10:41:18.428-08:00Today's PurposeLast night I received the good news from Dr.K that the MRIs of my right hip and lumbo-sacral spine show no new progression of disease. This is great news! We had some concerns because my CA 27-29 had been going up at a semi-alarming rate (40 to 60 to 80.) Additionally, I have been having a lot of pain in my hip and low back on the right. When I say "a lot" of pain this is probably the kind of pain that most would rate a "10" out of ten. Since I just continue to trudge on through the pain (with the help of pharmaceuticals) it says quite a bit that I am mentioning, much less complaining about pain. THEORUM: CA 27-29 Increase + Pain in hip & back increase = MRI.<br /><br />My October PET scan was great. The metastatic disease in my bones has been arrested. It is still there but it is not spreading so it is stable. The little effer cancer cells from Hell are pooping out because they have no estrogen to feed on (they are such crack whores.) Our hope is that the future PET scans will show that the disease is now dying off. Dr. K wanting a MRI to see if we had missed something or if there was something percolating in the hip/femoral head/sacral region. There could be something that was not picked up on PET scan. Thankfully, there was nothing.<br /><br />Dr.K is "cautiously optimistic." I think he and Lou Dobbs from CNN are in a continual state of cautious optimism. Let me say here and now that I am good with cautious optimism. It is way better than flagrant pessimism.<br /><br />The girls and I are all suffering with strep throat. I don't think I have ever had strep before. It is not fun. We are all on antibiotics to treat it so we are good for the public domain.<br /><br />On this day I am relieved. I can sit around and perseverate on something besides cancer. What a gift. I get these little motivational emails every day from my friend Michael. I love today's words of wisdom so I will share.<br /><br /><br />Today's purpose<br />+++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />What is your purpose for this day? What have you chosen to do <br />with the minutes and hours of this day, a day that is <br />already flowing into your life?<br /><br />When you give each day a specific purpose, at the end of <br />each day you'll have a specific accomplishment. In addition <br />to having a day that you can look back upon, you'll also <br />have real, lasting value that you can carry forward.<br /><br />Today is full of countless possibilities. Giving the day a <br />purpose will enable you to fulfill the exact possibilities <br />that align with that purpose.<br /><br />This day is rich in energy. With a clear purpose, you can <br />harness that powerful energy and channel it into something <br />that will make a difference for your world.<br /><br />There are dreams that you long to achieve. Today is your <br />opportunity to move solidly toward them.<br /><br />Give today a purpose -- a rich , wonderful, meaningful <br />purpose. And live life at its best.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-50631041692960939762008-10-14T13:31:00.000-07:002008-10-14T13:50:54.982-07:00Apparently Breast Cancer is GLAMOUROUS. Check out Glamour.comWell, the Trusera Video has made it onto Glamour magazine's website Glamour.com. This is under VITAMIN G: DAILY HEALTH & FITNESS BLOG. The piece is actually called: One Woman's Health Nightmare: "You Have Breast Cancer--But the Doc Can't See You for 2 Weeks." Who knew that this would make its way to a major publication? I am happy to say that the comments are so positive and proactive. So many women that are posting are setting aside their fear and getting a mammogram, or demanding a mammogram at times.<br /><br />I have a whole new thought for a program to get women in for mammograms that have found lumps. In my mind it is called "Bump for a Lump." I am waiting for my Radiologist to call me back. She was the one who shared with me WHY the wait here is so long.<br /><br />My dear friend Lu in St. Louis said that there is no wait there at Washington University Medical Center. The wait must get shorter as you get closer to the equator. <br /><br />Well, this is a problem and I think it will get fixed. Start small and then take over the world. Us lumpy women deserve better. <br /><br />It makes me hopeful on this day. It makes me feel like one person can make a difference. It makes me feel like I can go to Safeway and not vomit because of the sea of pink. The raffle, the book sale, the check out donations. Thanks for asking but honestly, I've given.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-72970770030838845062008-10-06T12:36:00.000-07:002008-10-07T17:19:56.565-07:00My Video Debut for TruseraOn September 10th I sat down with journalist Sally Kassab at the home of my friends Jenn & Keith Schorsch, The Founder and Right Hand of Trusera.com (You can choose their roles as they must change on any given day.) They wanted to interview me about my experience with metastatic breast cancer. Sally was a wonderful person and was very well prepared. She asked me many questions that were thought provoking and intense. I did my best. I think the finished product is something that the Trusera team should be proud of. Although a lot of the interview was left on the cutting room floor (or in digi-space) they really touched upon important subjects. What do you do with this diagnosis? Why is the wait so long for a mammogram? What do you tell your kids? How does a family survive? How does one woman affect change?<br /><br />This is a new program for Trusera.com. They are posting personal stories of real live people on the site. These are not trained actors as you might see on TV commercials. It is called "JustOne" and will propel the "power of been there" to a whole new level. If you haven't checked the site out please do. It is a wonderful, novel way at looking at health care and health challenges that we face. Trying to focus on the "it takes a village" concept instead of the "you gotta go it alone" process that is endemic in health care today.<br /><br />Take a look at the video to your RIGHT. Let me know what you think. Thankfully, they used a filter that even Katie Couric would be happy with. I look so youthful and exuberant. I look like a woman who has weekly facials and exercises. Sadly, I often forget to remove my makeup at night and exercise for me is walking to the bus stop.<br /><br />Additionally, many of the personal Thank Yous were left out because there are so many. At the top of my list is my husband Matt. He is my rock and I would not be doing so well if it weren't for him. My girls who keep me going every day, in every way. All of our family and friends. Our colleagues at the Seattle Police Department, the Seattle Police Officer's Guild and Aflac. My sisters at the Northwest Young Survivors Coalition and God. From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you. You rock!<br /><br />Here is the link to check it out on Trusera:<br />http://www.trusera.com/health/list_collections/justone-titleTeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-65495486792194571092008-09-22T14:42:00.000-07:002008-09-22T19:13:37.875-07:00Happy Birthday to me!Well, here I sit on the eve of my 42nd birthday. Considering my status I guess this is a great accomplishment. It doesn't feel great, in fact, it doesn't feel like much of anything. Don't get me wrong I am not ungrateful. I have two amazing girls that continue to blow my mind with their wisdom and honesty. I am going on 10 1/2 years with the man of my dreams. We have been through so much and yet I am always safe in his arms and happy to be by his side. I truly love these three people unconditionally. They are my heart and my home.<br /><br />I have unbelievably gracious friends. They are honest and steadfast and funny and always there for me. They never stop giving and propping me up and making me laugh. Everyone should be lucky to have an amazing group of friends.<br /><br />I have found a group of women who have survived breast cancer and everything that goes with it. They keep me sane and grounded and in the present while this disease tend to steal the present and force us to operate in a false future. The "establishment" tries to make us believe that this "new normal" is a natural place to go after diagnosis. Unfortunately it is not. <br /><br />I have a medical team that keeps on keeping on and will keep me going for a long, long time. They are indefatigable.<br /><br />I live in a time where a cure is actually a reality and something that could happen. I have met scientists, lobbyists, physicians and advocates who spend every day working toward a cure. I know they will be successful. I believe that my daughters will not have to deal with breast cancer they same way that I have.<br /><br />So really upon further assessment what is not to be happy about? I really am a very fortunate woman. Perhaps I just worry that I won't have the breath to blow out all 42of those candles. Maybe the 42 spankings will be too much for my delicate derriere. I guess I am happy to be here, to be celebrating another birthday. I mean '40 is the new 30' and I have experienced a lot during these four decades. I have been through the ringer in the last 14 months. What's another birthday. <br /><br />In the end I still have the amazing ability to always think of something worse. At any time I can come up with a situation that is way worse that what my family is going through right now. It is a talent that can never be shown off in a talent show. I mean thank God I don't have a colostomy bag. That would suck. Or I could be related to Sarah Palin and that would be worse than the colostomy.<br /><br />Happy Birthday to me. Things truly are great!TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-54137193379011933942008-08-12T20:18:00.000-07:002008-08-12T20:27:53.630-07:00Anonymous nails it. The fight to just be.Someone wrote this as a response to my latest blog. It is so meaningful to me. It really says so much with so little. Thank you anonymous. Thank you for sharing about your Mother's search for self with cancer and the vigilance to keep one's self that is necessary. Thank you-I hope you read this. MLH<br /><br /><em></em>Fighting and battling... my mom is a stage four cancer survivor--different sort. We used to have the same discussions about what it means to fight and to battle cancer. Having never gone through this myself, and only sharing what she came to believe... it was a fight to be you, to be who you are and be strong while you face this every day... to not lose yourself somewhere in the middle. She said that she wanted to be seen as herself first and not as someone with cancer. I wonder does that make sense? Watching her, it was one of the toughest struggles... doctors, and medicine, and treatments, and people changing around you, and tests, and more doctors, etc. as she fought to just be.<em></em>TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-17625387452875745052008-07-17T12:10:00.000-07:002008-08-11T14:48:12.172-07:00One year, One month and One dayI just noticed on my pink ticker at the bottom of my blog that I have been "beating breast cancer for one year, one month and one day." It is so strange that everything about cancer is about fighting, and beating, and battling and killing. So very warlike, very offensive (the double entendre here.) They do say the best offense is a good defense.<br /><br />I don't feel like I am FIGHTING. I mean it's not like I go into the ring and give the old cancer a left jab and a right hook to the chin and then a sucker punch to the kidney. Yes, this would cause a person that you were FIGHTING to pee blood for a few days but so can snowmobiling or going 4byin' in an old Willy's jeep. I don't really get an opportunity to FIGHT in that sense. I don't stay up at night because me and my cancer had some nasty words and it really hurt my feelings or was unfair. I don't get the fight thing. Maybe it is that "Fight Club" concept where foxy Edward Norton is constantly FIGHTING the evil and elusive Brad Pitt. Sadly, though that would make me the Ed Norton character (crazy & delusional) and the cancer would get to be Brad Pitt's character who is such a snazzy dresser and has a hell of a lot more fun in the movie.<br /><br />BEATING now there is something I can relate to. Not that I have been BEATEN or have I ever BEATEN anyone else but I do feel like if my kids were at risk I could and would BEAT the living shit out of someone. One time I BEAT an alarm clock. Then I threw it out of my third floor apartment to a lonely death on the pavement. I have BEAT many people at Scrabble and have been BEATEN too. But again cancer is not a game and there is nothing and no one you get to BEAT. No checkered flag, no "uncle" and no trophy.<br /><br />Am I BATTLING? Am I really BATTLING in the true sense of the word? Do I get up out of my bunker and BATTLE? Is it like what the soldiers are experiencing in Iraq-istan? Am I leading someone or something into BATTLE? I certainly don't sit up and yell, "Charge!" then point my sword at the enemy and proceed to lop their heads off. No 'Braveheart' action here. I basically stumble out of bed, trying to get the 5 feet to the bathroom to pop pain pills without falling. Nothing glorious there. Pathetic actually.<br /><br />KILLING now that is where it gets weird. Am I KILLING cancer? Do I actually have anything at all to do with KILLING cancer? I don't know. I take a whole host of cancer KILLING drugs. My pee and my blood and my bones are constantly being tested for cancer death. But is it me that is doing the KILLING or am I just the host? And in being the hostess with the mostest do I not only accomodate the evil cancer but the evil cancer KILLING drugs, and the uncomfortable cancer death measuring tests and the indignities of all the side effects of the drugs that KILL the cancer. I mean really is it natural or normal to have to mark time out of one's calendar to take a shit? What do the real soldiers do? My husband, a soldier in another era, says that the MREs make the soldiers really constipated so it doesn't become an issue.<br /><br />Can you imagine: <br />"One Delta One are you ready to drop the bomb?"<br />"Uh hold up One Delta One we got one that needs to take a shit." <br />"One Delta One let us know when you are ready."<br /><br />Absurd.<br /><br />I digress. I guess I am not a fighter or a batterer or a battle savvy warrior or a killer. I am just a chick with cancer and a pacifist's heart.TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-4932323250687332312008-07-08T18:10:00.000-07:002008-07-08T18:29:39.467-07:00Guest Blog on a Log from NashVegas!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIx59G3lyj5RUutt26hAqFmzeCPETi7GgUFoGXxZrWBKnCL99gpeHtZoq2388x809zn1xe0jbSizlD3GB3X79dMOYFDuVzilvRVqqt0Z0lY5HFgQb8YzPZUXjgUGSZ9vUpnH_sFQe6Euw/s1600-h/ALL+PICS+032.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIx59G3lyj5RUutt26hAqFmzeCPETi7GgUFoGXxZrWBKnCL99gpeHtZoq2388x809zn1xe0jbSizlD3GB3X79dMOYFDuVzilvRVqqt0Z0lY5HFgQb8YzPZUXjgUGSZ9vUpnH_sFQe6Euw/s320/ALL+PICS+032.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220817008642368994" /></a><br /> <br /><br />GUEST BLOG!!!<br /><br />Greetings to all out there reading this. I’m coming to you live from Nashvegas, USA. Miss Michele has asked me to guest blog for her on this, her cancerversary. Yep, one year since our dear friend got some seriously life-changing, mind-blowing news and we were all left stunned and saddened. Since then, she has been a courageous fighter and a source of inspiration to us all. She recently received some more potentially bad news...the results of her latest PET scan were not as positive as those in the past. The test showed some areas of concern around her second lumbar (L2) vertebra/right hip region. There are a few possible reasons that are currently under speculation. One is metastatic flares, which would be fine. The second is an injury to the area, possibly from a recent camping trip, which would be fine as well. The third possibility is that the lesions in this area are particularly resistant to Michele’s current drug regime and are growing in a destructive fashion. <br /><br />On this one year anniversary of Michele’s bad news, combined with other potentially bad news, I’m sure we’re all thinking “what can we do?” Let’s start small and work our way up…..<br /><br />1) Show Michele love and support in whatever way possible. The power of positive energy cannot be underestimated. Lovely quote from George Eliot…. <em>Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another. </em> George Eliot was a chick, in case you didn’t know.<br /><br />2) Practice kindness in your daily life. My most recent life changing realization is that it’s better to be kind than to be right. It makes so many of life’s decisions easier when I consider this.<br /><br />3) Volunteer. I know Michele has tons of great organizations that she is involved with. Young Survivor’s Coalition, Check Your Boobies, Gilda’s Club. Some orgs will let you volunteer whenever you have time, or if you have no time, send them some dough. It will put a smile on your face.<br /><br />4) Treat your children well. That damn crackhead Whitney’s right, they are our future.<br /><br />5) Choose happiness! You can choose to be happy, or choose to be miserable; the amount of energy expended is the same.<br /><br />You’re probably thinking “What’s this crazy cowgirl Chopra wannabe smokin’? I have no time to self-actualize…have you seen my bathroom??!?!” Yep, I hear ya. I just know that Michele is handling an unbelievably heavy load, but is still managing to make wisecracks and worry about making a difference. So put down your toilet brush and go spread some joy. You won’t be sorry.<br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><em></em> Eileen aka Styleen is a friend who has known Michele since Kindergaerten. They both graduated from Bellevue High School sometime during the Reagan Era. She met Matt during the restaurant years. She was actually the person who set Matt and Michele up on a blind date and that is where it all began.<br /><br />Eileen currently lives with Donfeld in Nashville, Tennessee (the land of a thousand vowels and dipthongs.) Don is getting his PhD from Vanderbilt or VandyCamp and Eileen is working on her SWA 10-year tattoo. <em></em>TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com206tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-32725158257244340262008-06-06T06:00:00.000-07:002008-07-08T18:48:02.826-07:00Tequila and SaltTequila and Salt<br /> <br /><br />This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true. <br /> <br />1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.<br /> <br /> <br />2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.<br /> <br /> <br />3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be <br /><br />just like you.<br /> <br /> <br />4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.<br /> <br /> <br />5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.<br /> <br /> <br />6. You mean the world to someone.<br /> <br /> <br />7. You are special and unique.<br /> <br /> <br />8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.<br /> <br /> <br />9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.<br /> <br /><br />10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.<br /> <br /><br />11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />And always remember....when life hands you Lemons (or limes,)<br /> <br />ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!<br /><br />Sent by the fabulous Kimmie K. with whom I would shoot tequila at any given chance.<br /><br />***********************************************************************************<br /> <br />'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though<br /> <br />Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway'<br /> <br /><br /> <br />I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here<br /> <br />than a whole truck load when I'm gone.<br /> <br /><br /> <br />Happiness keeps You Sweet,<br /> <br />Trials keep You Strong,<br /> <br />Sorrows keep You Human,<br /> <br />Failures keeps You Humble,<br /> <br />Success keeps You Glowing,<br /> <br />But Only God keeps You GoingTeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-30159910024827971402008-05-05T11:27:00.001-07:002008-05-05T12:05:54.285-07:00Holly O'ReillyFriday night I went out to a pub to hear live music with my friend Dana. What a treat. I was so excited. We were going to start at her house and she was going to drive. Then I got to sleep over at her empty house. Matt said he could handle the Friday to Saturday morning schedule. My freedom on Friday was matched by having to attend a Chuck E Cheese birthday at Noon on Saturday. Fair trade in my book.<br /><br />So we arrive at find princess parking. We get to the pub and order up a couple of drinks. I don't really drink anymore so one beer is a lot. I see Holly across the room and my excitement mounts. We have emailed, texted, and phoned since last summer but had never met. It was so amazing to finally be together. She is an amazing musician and a fabulous babe. She introduced me to her finace. They seem truly happy.<br /><br />Anyhow, Dana and I enjoyed the music. She is so talented. Additionally, she had a drummer and mandolin player on stage at times which was nice. Her family was in the audience so it was a special evening. I was thrilled and actually started crying when she said, "It is my birthday and so I am playing what I want to hear. No requests. Except this one for my friend Michele." She went on to play my favorite "Gifts & Burdens"<br /><br /><em>I don't think I can live with all these gifts and burdens, or the weight of learning. I'd give some to you, but in time you would surely be sorry. Only time can help you now, you can only live through, not over or around.</em><br /><br /><strong>I just love her, her music and her spirit. You should check her out. You should buy her music and her shirts.</strong><br /><br /><a href="http://www.hollyoreilly.com/home.html">www.hollyoreilly.com/home.html</a><br /><br />You can also check out a lot of other indie musicians at CD Baby.<br /><br /><a href="http://http://cdbaby.com">http://cdbaby.com</a>TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-58447003330418658412008-05-05T11:10:00.000-07:002008-05-05T11:26:57.980-07:00A cavityThere is this horrible side effect of taking Zometa or any bisphosphonates called osteonecrosis of the jaw (ONJ.) After the Z-pac in the previous post made me sick I was taken off it. I was still having this horrible sinus and face pain. I took some Sudefed to dry things up and still face pain. It was getting worse.<br /><br />Well if you ever look up ONJ on the internet have a barf bag ready because it is pretty gross. I had absolutely made myself believe that I had it. I just knew it! In my new "mandible free" life I would not be able to talk or eat or be seen in public. I would become like that freak Michael Jackson and constantly be wearing a surgical mask. Eventually it would become a burqua. Nightmare!<br /><br />Well, I went to my dentist (who rocks) and asked him "have you ever seen a case of ONJ?" He said yes he had as he had been in the Public Health Service and worked for 5 years at the Fred Hutchison Cancer Research Center. He said he saw it in a woman on Boniva (the Sally Field Drug.)<br /><br />OKAY SO NOW I AM FREAKING OUT! I was told that Zometa is 10,000 times as strong as Boniva.<br /><br />He does some probing, pushing and scratching around in my mouth that will only be with me for a short time I am sure. Blows some air and I jump out of my skin.<br /><br />You have..........................a cavity. OMG I was so happy to have a cavity I can't even tell you. He eve got out the little camera that takes you inside your own mouth and showed me, "See the big brown hole by the old filling I put in? That is the cavity."<br /><br />Well, the cavity was filled. I no longer have face pain and I know that me and my mandible will be together for a long, long time.<br /><br />Now I will never be silenced. Too bad for you!TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227541605020560860.post-85572865477571232102008-04-10T09:53:00.000-07:002008-04-10T10:22:54.738-07:00Even the Cat is Sick!Matt called the vet and apparently cats can have allergies and colds. Who knew? Poor Smithia has been hiding under the bed sneezing all day long. Well, now I have it. I don't think that I got it from the cat (but who knows) but we are both sick. Now I have been sick since March 5th and I must say I am a bit over it. I understand and accept being immunosuppressed, but this is crazy.<br /><br />I will go get the Z-Pac antibiotics (which always sounds like a computer thing or a car) and hopefully it will kick some butt!<br /><br />If you scroll down you can see the latest posts from Marisa Acocella Marcheto at the "Hottest Pink Party Ever" which earned $4.5M in one night. All the stars were out Gwyneth Paltrow, Evelyn Lauder, Christian from Project runway, Elton John performed. My gal pals said the evening was a total blast and the goody bags were awesome. (Crying on the inside, we all know how I love a goodie bag!)<br /><br />The latest excitement is that Sarah Park from MyBreastCancerNetwork.com is actually coming out to Seattle. At last we will meet. How fun is that? She is in charge of production and sounds really cool online. <br /><br />Hopefully I will be perked up a bit.<br /><br />This week has been Spring Break for the kids. Since we are obviously not in Hawaii or Sun valley we have had to entertain ourselves here at home. There have been play dates and staying up late. The girls have a mini-sleepover in each other's room every night. Yesterday we saw "Nim's Island" and we also saw "Horton Hears a Who" over the weekend. Two days ago we all went and had manis and pedis. Now Crash and Dizzy are bedazzled with flowers and rhinestones on their big toes and thumb nails and they look awesome.<br /><br />The trip to the spa was Anya's choice as she was "Student of the Month" for March 2008. This was for the whole school and she got an award and a special letter from the Principals. WOW! We are so proud. well, just a quickie. Hope it was good for you!TeamHyrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623987323841510607noreply@blogger.com2