Happy Birthday to me!

Well, here I sit on the eve of my 42nd birthday. Considering my status I guess this is a great accomplishment. It doesn't feel great, in fact, it doesn't feel like much of anything. Don't get me wrong I am not ungrateful. I have two amazing girls that continue to blow my mind with their wisdom and honesty. I am going on 10 1/2 years with the man of my dreams. We have been through so much and yet I am always safe in his arms and happy to be by his side. I truly love these three people unconditionally. They are my heart and my home.

I have unbelievably gracious friends. They are honest and steadfast and funny and always there for me. They never stop giving and propping me up and making me laugh. Everyone should be lucky to have an amazing group of friends.

I have found a group of women who have survived breast cancer and everything that goes with it. They keep me sane and grounded and in the present while this disease tend to steal the present and force us to operate in a false future. The "establishment" tries to make us believe that this "new normal" is a natural place to go after diagnosis. Unfortunately it is not.

I have a medical team that keeps on keeping on and will keep me going for a long, long time. They are indefatigable.

I live in a time where a cure is actually a reality and something that could happen. I have met scientists, lobbyists, physicians and advocates who spend every day working toward a cure. I know they will be successful. I believe that my daughters will not have to deal with breast cancer they same way that I have.

So really upon further assessment what is not to be happy about? I really am a very fortunate woman. Perhaps I just worry that I won't have the breath to blow out all 42of those candles. Maybe the 42 spankings will be too much for my delicate derriere. I guess I am happy to be here, to be celebrating another birthday. I mean '40 is the new 30' and I have experienced a lot during these four decades. I have been through the ringer in the last 14 months. What's another birthday.

In the end I still have the amazing ability to always think of something worse. At any time I can come up with a situation that is way worse that what my family is going through right now. It is a talent that can never be shown off in a talent show. I mean thank God I don't have a colostomy bag. That would suck. Or I could be related to Sarah Palin and that would be worse than the colostomy.

Happy Birthday to me. Things truly are great!