Young Survivor Conference in Dallas

I returned from the YSC conference in Dallas and I am happy to report that this year was quite different than last year. Better, stronger, faster...............



Last year the conference was in Jacksonville, Florida. That is a long flight. My flying buddy had an anxiety attack (the likes of which I have NEVER seen) and had to deplane before we left Seattle. It was so annoying (not her panic) but the flight attendants. OMG they kept saying, "We have seen this before and she will be F-I-N-E once we are airborne."

I looked to my friend and responded, "Does that look FINE to you? She is clearly not FINE. She needs to get off this plane." She was a puddle of goo.

They said, "We have already moved away from the jet-way, she'll be FINE."

There was quite a bit of back and forth and I said, "Just back the G.D. plane up and let her off or we are going to have a real problem." Fortunately, they did and she was fine.



So this was how my first trip to the YSC conference started. I long flight (red-eye) worrying about my friend and thinking that this was a sign, a bad one.



When I arrived in Jax everything felt surreal. It seemed like everyone else knew what to do but I didn't. They knew where to go, they had friends there, they had little treatment groups that bopped around the conference together with matching T-shirts. Basically, unlike me, they all had it together or knew someone or read the instructions. I was just totally overwhelmed. The pink factor was so high is was nauseating. It was a sea of pink.



Red sea, Blue sea, Pink sea, get me out of here now!



Everyone at the conference was delineated by a plastic lei. Blue for caregivers and yellow for health-care workers. Purple, green, white for years of survival, white being less than one year. Orange for mets. There I was dazed and confused and my albatross was a white and an orange plastic lei. I have mets and have had it for less than one year. I felt like Hester Prynne with her scarlet "A."



Here is what really blew my mind. I looked out into this large group of women with breast cancer that are under the age of 40 who have the time, the home support and the money to attend this conference and all I see is the orange and white. I know it is just like when you get a new car and then all you see on the road is that new car but it was so representative of the horror of this disease. These women at the conference were the fortunate few. How many others were out there with MBC who weren't represented there in Jacksonville with plastic leis.



I spent a lot of time in my room. I was so physically exhausted and emotionally sick that I couldn't bear it. I made friends with 4 women at the conference: Danica, Valerie, Beth and Dayna. That was it. The only people I really interacted with the whole weekend. Then on the way to the airport when I was just about to completely fall apart due to pain, both physical and mental, some BC sisters took care of me. They didn't know me but they could see the anguish, heck they could probably smell it coming off of me like an odor. Diane, Yuri and Heather probably saved me in that moment at the airport. Without them I probably would not have made it home (in all senses of the word.)



This year I set up some exit options and some alternative activities which was a good thing for me. I came in on Thursday and had dinner with my girlfriends Anne and Eileen. We went to this amazing restaurant that was opened by a guy who went to my high school!!! Apparently there is a large contingent of people from Washington who have moved to Dallas. Who knew? Then my friend Eileen stayed on until Saturday. I could go to the workshops and catch up with folks and then come back to my room and chill and hang out with Eileen. Just having these little things to do that weren't centered around breast cancer completely changed my outlook and thus changed my experience at the conference.



I had a really good time. I learned a lot, I hooked up with a lot of women I only email with on the YSC boards or FaceBook and I danced and had Taco Bueuno! I wasn't overwhelmed and it wasn't info overload. I feel so lucky that I could go. I really owe this opportunity to Matt. Matt can handle the home front with an adroitness most Mom's don't have. He makes this soirees possible and I really thank him for that. There are many other women who could not attend solely because their husbands could not handle home life without them (hometards.) Thanks again sweetie heart!



I kept my eyes open. I saw Dayna, Diane and Valerie. They looked wonderful and all reported wellness in their worlds. Beth, Yuri and Heather couldn't make it this year and sadly Danica passed last year. I wrote a little remembrance card for her. She was a bright spot in the darkness of my 1st YSC conference.



At my 2nd YSC Conference I was on the lookout for the girl with the orange and white plastic leis with fear in her eyes and anguish in her heart. If she was there I didn't see her. I have graduated to orange and green leis and clearly that makes all the difference.