My dear friend Cindy just sent this along in an email. I love it so I am posting it so that you can read it too.
"You may know this already, but in some native traditions, the head is shaved as part of a ritual. It is a symbol of shedding a layer. The ritual is used when someone is releasing or transforming a part of themselves from the past and stepping through a new gateway to the future, a metamorphosis. Even with the uncertainty of the future, you look beautiful and empowered as you step through this gateway."
Thanks Cin-Cin. Isn't this a beautiful thought and image?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
OK I get it I need to blog more!
So I haven't blogged since I started my radiation in April. I am so pleased to report that after THREE treatments I was virtually pain free on the right side. I am so impressed with how well area specific radiation works as well as the staff at Evergreen Hospital. You walk into EHMC and there are posters (featuring my favorite surgeon Dr. Marion Johnson) with their tag line, "Exceptional people, exceptional care." I think they nailed it on this one. My experience at EHMC for radiation was phenomenal.
Well after having such relief with three treatments on the right side I thought let's do the left. Matt and I went in to consult with Dr. Eric Taylor and my new hip/pelvis/femur MRI on the left. Unfortunately, the cancer on the left is diffuse and it would be very difficult for Dr. Taylor to "hit" the correct spot. For this reason, as well as the fact that I would be starting chemotherapy soon, he could not radiate on the left side. My bone marrow just couldn't take it before embarking on chemotherapy. I think Dr. Taylor was the most disappointed in the room. The hips, pelvis and femurs really are the largest sources of bone marrow production in the body. One side was all I could handle before a course of chemotherapy but the pain relief on the right was worth it.
I graduated from radiation on April 15th and was off to Philadelphia for the Living Beyond Breast Cancer meeting devoted to women with metastatic breast cancer. It was very informative and Elizabeth Edwards spoke. She is an amazing woman to hear speak. I would highly recommend her new book, "Resilience" for pondering many of life's issues beyond cancer.
Once I returned from Philadelphia we had a planning meeting with Dr. K on a Tuesday. I was going to start a regimen of Abraxane (a chemotherapy) and Avastin (a biotherapy) and keep going with my monthly Zometa (a bone builder.) I would have 3 weeks on and one week off getting my treatments on Fridays. It was a little confusing at first because week #1 is 2 drugs, week #2 is 1 drug and week #3 is 3 drugs then week #4 off.
Once we got that on the calendar my sister-in-law went to work on an schedule for assistance. Thank you to everyone who answered the call for driving and picking up the girls, taking them to parties and school events, folding laundry, cleaning, helping me here at the house to not get frustrated with being home alone. You have all offered to be "chemo-buddies" so Matt doesn't have to take the day off work for weekly treatments. Also, I have to mention the meals that just keep on arriving and they are so good.
Everyone seems to have something that they can do to help our family through this and you are all so generous with your time and energy. Most importantly, I would like to personally thank everyone, especially family, who have taken some of the burden off of Matt's plate. For the first time during this 22 month roller coaster ride I see Matt being able to do somethings for himself. Even if it is just to sit and watch a hockey game it is some time just for him where he can have some down time. With your assistance Matt can go to work, with less worry, and that is so important. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your help. We have an amazing village!!!
So where are we now? I did 2 treatments and then went in for #3 and was neutropenic. This is when your white blood cells are too low and the on-call doctor decided that I could not have chemotherapy that day. I have had a week and a half to get my WBC back up. We will know on Wednesday the 2oth. Matt has been feeding me fish, and green leafy vegetables and I have been focusing on a healthy WBC and my bone marrow working again. Our lives our hopelessly devoted to hand sanitizer and staying away from sick people (especially kids.) On that note, we really appreciate your candor when someone in your family is coming down with something. You know we would love to see you and the girls crave the play-dates but thanks for being aware of what a cold or the flu means at our house.
We should be able to start round #2 on Friday the 22nd. Keep your fingers crossed. Just as the Abraxane manual said my hair began to fall out 14 days after my first treatment. At first is was just a little bit. By yesterday there was so much hair in the shower drain it filled a gallon zip-lock bag. We decided to shave it off. Petra, my hairstylist/next door neighbor (A Sense of Style in Woodinville is where she works) came over with the clippers and cut it off. She tried to give me a sassy, short do but as I knew it was too far gone so I got a buzz cut. Mila took pictures and we made it a fun day and finished up by reading, "The Best Nest." As any parent knows, Mr. and Mrs. Bird need 'man hair' for their best nest. The birds around here are going to have wall-to-wall carpeting in their nests.
Thanks for the emails, phone calls and FaceBook notes of support about being bald. It is a really odd thing and I never really thought much of my hair until I saw it flying away into the yard. Your support means a lot. It is one of those weird life situations that is scary and liberating at the same time. Matt said, "It's very G.I. Jane" and I am good with that. Too bad the abs don't come with the buzz cut!
Well after having such relief with three treatments on the right side I thought let's do the left. Matt and I went in to consult with Dr. Eric Taylor and my new hip/pelvis/femur MRI on the left. Unfortunately, the cancer on the left is diffuse and it would be very difficult for Dr. Taylor to "hit" the correct spot. For this reason, as well as the fact that I would be starting chemotherapy soon, he could not radiate on the left side. My bone marrow just couldn't take it before embarking on chemotherapy. I think Dr. Taylor was the most disappointed in the room. The hips, pelvis and femurs really are the largest sources of bone marrow production in the body. One side was all I could handle before a course of chemotherapy but the pain relief on the right was worth it.
I graduated from radiation on April 15th and was off to Philadelphia for the Living Beyond Breast Cancer meeting devoted to women with metastatic breast cancer. It was very informative and Elizabeth Edwards spoke. She is an amazing woman to hear speak. I would highly recommend her new book, "Resilience" for pondering many of life's issues beyond cancer.
Once I returned from Philadelphia we had a planning meeting with Dr. K on a Tuesday. I was going to start a regimen of Abraxane (a chemotherapy) and Avastin (a biotherapy) and keep going with my monthly Zometa (a bone builder.) I would have 3 weeks on and one week off getting my treatments on Fridays. It was a little confusing at first because week #1 is 2 drugs, week #2 is 1 drug and week #3 is 3 drugs then week #4 off.
Once we got that on the calendar my sister-in-law went to work on an schedule for assistance. Thank you to everyone who answered the call for driving and picking up the girls, taking them to parties and school events, folding laundry, cleaning, helping me here at the house to not get frustrated with being home alone. You have all offered to be "chemo-buddies" so Matt doesn't have to take the day off work for weekly treatments. Also, I have to mention the meals that just keep on arriving and they are so good.
Everyone seems to have something that they can do to help our family through this and you are all so generous with your time and energy. Most importantly, I would like to personally thank everyone, especially family, who have taken some of the burden off of Matt's plate. For the first time during this 22 month roller coaster ride I see Matt being able to do somethings for himself. Even if it is just to sit and watch a hockey game it is some time just for him where he can have some down time. With your assistance Matt can go to work, with less worry, and that is so important. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your help. We have an amazing village!!!
So where are we now? I did 2 treatments and then went in for #3 and was neutropenic. This is when your white blood cells are too low and the on-call doctor decided that I could not have chemotherapy that day. I have had a week and a half to get my WBC back up. We will know on Wednesday the 2oth. Matt has been feeding me fish, and green leafy vegetables and I have been focusing on a healthy WBC and my bone marrow working again. Our lives our hopelessly devoted to hand sanitizer and staying away from sick people (especially kids.) On that note, we really appreciate your candor when someone in your family is coming down with something. You know we would love to see you and the girls crave the play-dates but thanks for being aware of what a cold or the flu means at our house.
We should be able to start round #2 on Friday the 22nd. Keep your fingers crossed. Just as the Abraxane manual said my hair began to fall out 14 days after my first treatment. At first is was just a little bit. By yesterday there was so much hair in the shower drain it filled a gallon zip-lock bag. We decided to shave it off. Petra, my hairstylist/next door neighbor (A Sense of Style in Woodinville is where she works) came over with the clippers and cut it off. She tried to give me a sassy, short do but as I knew it was too far gone so I got a buzz cut. Mila took pictures and we made it a fun day and finished up by reading, "The Best Nest." As any parent knows, Mr. and Mrs. Bird need 'man hair' for their best nest. The birds around here are going to have wall-to-wall carpeting in their nests.
Thanks for the emails, phone calls and FaceBook notes of support about being bald. It is a really odd thing and I never really thought much of my hair until I saw it flying away into the yard. Your support means a lot. It is one of those weird life situations that is scary and liberating at the same time. Matt said, "It's very G.I. Jane" and I am good with that. Too bad the abs don't come with the buzz cut!
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