Saturday, September 19, 2009

RE-MISSION IMPOSSIBLE? OR POSSIBLE

All had been quiet on the blog front because I have just been soldiering on through my 6 cycles of Avastin and Abraxane. My final treatment for this series, which began in April, is September 25th. I was prepared to have a PET scan (the 1st one since February when I had 13 new active cancer spots on my skeleton) after the 25th and then consult with Dr. K. He was not satisfied with this situation because if the outcome was that I was to remain on the Avastin and Abraxane we would get off of our established schedule. Cancer buggers can do a lot while the proverbial "mice" of chemotherapy are away. So, I had a PET scan this last Wednesday and consulted with Dr. K. yesterday on Friday.

I had prepared myself for the worst. These scans really do a number on me. I get a bad case of "scanxiety" and continually imagine that I am going to hear, "It didn't work at all and we are going to have to move onto Door #3 and you are going to have to have a harsher drug and it is going to suck more than you can imagine and blah, blah, blah." I suppose that this is a coping mechanism, of sorts, because when you are a mets girl to even allow yourself to think that something is going to go right is just not something that we do. We prepare for the worst and hope for something on the scale just above the worst and this is progress. It really is absurd because we all want to live in a place of hopefulness, a place where our condition will somehow change from a death sentence to life without parole.

Well I guess the Governor of Cancer called up on the bat-phone and in a way commuted my sentence for the time being. Over the past 6 months I have heard Dr. K use the "R" word (remission) twice. I NEVER thought that remission was a possibility for me. I thought that even if the outcome of any treatment was good that there would still be metastatic disease on my skeleton and even thought it wasn't active it would always be there. The internal evidence of my scarlet letter "C."

On Friday, I hadn't looked at my results and so Dr. K was the first one to read them to me. I literally felt like I was in the middle of a miracle moment as he shared my results with me. I had to make sure that he was reading MY results not someone elses. The PET scan sealed the deal. Because my CA 27-29 has gone from 150 to 70, my pain is all but disappeared with the exception of my low back which has all those collapsed vertebraes and fractures, I have been feeling better than ever since I have been diagnosed and according to some (not me) I look better than I have looked (even without any hair) since my diagnosis in July 2007 we were hopeful that the PET would reveal progress. I didn't imagine it would reveal a small miracle.

Originally I had 6 tumors in my left breast and axilla. Many of them were big like baseball and golf ball size. Two had disappeared awhile ago, two were gone from this scan. I mean totally gone. The last two (baseball and golf ball) are down to 1cm by 1cm, they are petering out. The two last buggers are there but they are not doing well. They aren't thriving, they are dying. Good riddance. As far as my skeletal mets, which were EVERYWHERE in my body. THEY ARE GONE!!!!! There is no evidence of any disease with the exception of a small spot on my right 4th rib and possibly a spot on my pelvis, but that is probably a post-radiation spot not a cancer spot.

To me this is just unbelievable. This chemotherapy/biotherapy/bone builder regime has worked and it has worked well. All the fatigue from the therapies and the pain from the marrow builders and the Thursday-Friday-Saturday trips to the cancer institute have been worth it and worth it in a way that is amazing.

I'll give you a little quote from the report:
"There is remarkable interval decreased or complete resolution of abnormal activity see in the entire skeleton now." and "There is almost complete metabolic response of the osseous skeletal lesions."

The plan is this. I will have 6 more treatments of the Abraxane and Avastin which will run me up to December 18th. I will be sending out an email blast for chemo buddies and Neulasta shot ride friends on Saturday. Dr. K believes that with the 6 more treatments that I could go into complete remission. Now, me being the metastatic pessimist I am not going to hold my breath BUT I will be visualizing the death of the final 3-4 spots that are left.

Thank you all for the rides, sitting with me, playing with the girls, the meals, the support, sitting with me through the interminable chemo sessions. Thank you for the well-wishes, the prayers, the cards and the emails. Thank you for being a part of getting us this far. We couldn't have done it without your help.

Most of all I have to thank my family without you three I wouldn't be able to make it through the treatments, and the tests and the shots. Matt, Anya and Mila this victory is yours. You have sacrificed so much to get me here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

25 comments:

beth said...

I was telling Ian how fantastic you looked the other day! I am so happy for you and will continue to pray for you! (I think this is really the first, maybe second miracle I have seen).

Beth said...

I'm so happy you are responding so well to treatment!!! Keep kicking butt!

momgoingcrazy from YSC

Daria said...

That is an amazing story ... very inspiring.

Keep up the good work!

Beth Herbster said...

OMG-my goose bumps turned in to Ostrich bumps the further I got in to your update. How absolutely incredible and perhaps somewhat of a miracle. But mostly it's because of your inner strength and fighting abilities. Keep up the good work!!!!!

Adrienne said...

Hooray!! OMG this is truly a divine miracle. But if anyone can conjure up the power of mystery, miracle, loved and redemption it is YOU. Congratulations on this amazing news.

Angie said...

Amazing. Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

I am thrilled for you! I was worried since it has been so long since you posted on the mets board from YSC. Congratulations!!

Jill (jellybean from YSC)

Beth Brownlee said...

You go girl! Woohoo! Keep the dream alive and watch those last few spots disappear.
Ly, Beth

Maria and the Gang said...

Michelle, Ashlyn asked about you this morning so I checked this, I am SO VERY GLAD to hear your good news, SO VERY GLAD that you are here and will be here for your beautiful girls and wonderful hubby for another back to school season, holiday season, and looking forward to seeing you in Chelan next summer!!! Keep the faith girl it is working!!! Much love from all of us.

Sheila said...

Thrilled to pieces by this news. Way to keep the faith!

Loudlife said...

OMG Meesh, I'm teary eyed! That's fantastic news! What a great birthday present!

Happy Birthday, btw, still heartfelt although 5 days late!

xoxo
Laurie

Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle,
I'm sitting here dripping tears on my laptop as I read this post. I'm so happy for you and your family. You just keep on visualizing those buggers gone. It's the the power of thought that is the best medicine. I'm sending thoughts of strength and vitality your way. I miss you guys!!!! Say Hi to those preciouse girls for me.

~ Penny

Shelly said...

I can't remember who first "introduced" me to you by giving me your blog address- we have never actually met. But, I check on you often, and I'm so very happy to read your news! Your story is inspirational and you are an amazing lady. Big hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

watermelon viagra natural viagra substitutes viagra online cheap does viagra really work viagra women viagra jokes viagra and alcohol buying viagra in uk bought viagra fuerteventura make your own viagra viagra and cocaine buying viagra online pharmacy viagra buy viagra cheap

Anonymous said...

Bonjour I'd love to thank you for such a terrific quality forum!
Just thought this would be a perfect way to make my first post!

Sincerely,
Monte Phil
if you're ever bored check out my site!
[url=http://www.partyopedia.com/articles/little-mermaid-party-supplies.html]little mermaid Party Supplies[/url].

Anonymous said...

This might be a bit off-topic but I believe there are a lot of smokers here on www.blogger.com. I decided to find a good manufacturer of e-smokes. I'm done with paying so much for tobacco smokes.A friend recommended [url=http://www.insanereleases.info/greensmokef.html]G Smoke[/url] According to their website this is how they described their product:
"Green Smoke offers supreme Electronic cigarettes with disposable cartridges that produce the highest smoke volume in the industry. With a collection of flavors and nicotine levels, Green Smoke's™ patented technology offers convenience and performance that is unmatched. G Smoke products have been independently tested for safety."
I'm thinking of buying them. Anyone else have experience with this e-cigarette?

Anonymous said...

Hi I'd like to congratulate you for such a terrific quality site!
Was thinking this is a perfect way to make my first post!
When trying to accumulate fortune it is usually a sharp plan to begin a savings or investing game plan as early in life as achievable. But don't despair if you have not began saving your money until later on in life. With honest work, that is exploring the best investment vehicles for your cash you can slowly but surely increase your finances so that it extends to a huge amount by the time you wish to retire. Watch all of the available asset classes from stocks to real estate as investments for your money. A wisely diversified portfolio of investments in different asset classes may make your money expand throughout the years.

-Avis Christon
[url=http://urwealthy.com]currency conversion [/url]

Anonymous said...

megen fox in bikini, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187756]meggan fox naked[/url] who is megan fox
kim kadashian sex tape, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187768]kim kardasian and ray j[/url] kim kardashean superstar
the bracelets taylor swift wears, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187772]taylor swift ticket corpus christi texas[/url] taylor swift performances
hannah montana vanity case with hair accessories, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187786]singing holiday hannah montana doll feedback[/url] hannah montana greg baker mr corelli
harry potter movie tickets, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187792]who dies in the new harry potter book[/url] books similar to harry potter
carnival cruise to bermuda, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187798]cruise ship deals from san diego to mexico[/url] tom cruise shooting in waltham
fan mail address for justin bieber, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187812]auditions to be in justin biebers next music video[/url] justin bieber bio
sex videos of britney spears, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187814]sexy britney spears gallery[/url] watch britney spears sex tape online
megan fox naked pitures, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/175542]megan fox transformers two[/url] megan fox topless

Anonymous said...

hey


Just saying hello while I read through the posts


hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.

Anonymous said...

Make the animal with two backs casinos? verify this untested [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]online casino[/url] steer and wing it reduce online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also scrutinize our new [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] handle at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and draw chief genially touched in the head !
another show-off [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] regard is www.ttittancasino.com , in the course of german gamblers, slip in manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

Hello guys,

What online mags do you read and would recommend?

For all you rockabilly people out there I recommend The Enough Fanzine. It is one of the first rock zines on the www.

They have throusands of reviews from the most independent bands all over the world. Check them out online: [url=http://www.enoughfanzine.com]Enough Fanzine[/url]. Best of it all, they are 100% non-profit and just helping the scene!

Looking forward to your recommendations.

Regards!

Anonymous said...

Allow to pass the animal with two backs casinos? examine this immature [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] games. guide and abduct up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also inspect our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] orientate at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and gain genuine fabulously touched in the head !
another late-model [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino[/url] spiele neighbourhood is www.ttittancasino.com , in the course of german gamblers, retrieve manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? verify this advanced [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]free casino[/url] games. commander and procrastinate online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also impede our lately [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] guide at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and conquer essential well misled !
another unsurpassed [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino[/url] spiele neighbourhood is www.ttittancasino.com , instead of german gamblers, call not busy online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]free casino[/url] brake the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]casino games[/url] manumitted no deposit perk at the leading [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]liberated largesse casino
[/url].

Anonymous said...


[url=http://www.homebasedbusinessprogram.com/profiles/blogs/sac-main-coach-outlet-zones-coach-outlet-store-retail-factory][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyiss.bcz.com/2012/12/29/sacs-en-cuir-satchel-obtenir-une-qualite-traditionnelle/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmao.dinstudio.com/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyii.spyuser.com/2013/01/02/sacs-de-sport-et-des-chapeaux-peut-stimuler-les-ventes/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyi.xanga.com/770696720/styles-sac-%C3%A0-main-le-sac-hobo/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]