Me & Shakira, our hips don't lie.

Well can't really say that I am on tonight on any night for that matter. What I can say is that Shakira and I have something in common (I know it's hard to believe the Colombian bombshell and me) but it is true--OUR HIPS DON"T LIE.

Shakira had this amazing control over her hips, any direction the most minute of movements. Me, on the other hand, I can trip over a 12 inch piece of ribbon. As many of you readers know I came back form our cruise in February and I caught my heel on a jet way disembarking the plane. I felt the pain and thought that I had maybe broken my hip. About a month later after the pain just kept getting worse I had an MRI which did not show a fracture but instead showed the the disease in my hip had awakened from its slumber and was know growing like crazy. Then I fell, literally tripping on a piece of ribbon. I really understood that I was going downhill at this point. My acceptance-o-meter was on that day.

So now we are dealing with two different issues 1) The elevated DHEA & Estrogen levels 2) The new hip pain that is beyond intense. While the endocrinologist and Dr. K are working on the endocrine issue (which is probably what the hip is active again because it needs estrogen to grow) we now have this debilitating pain problem. It is affecting my quality of life in a negative way.

Dr. K referred me to Dr. Eric Taylor at Evergreen. I went in to see him and much to my delight he told me in the first ten seconds where he did his undergrad, Med school, internship and residency. He told me how many patients he had treated and that he sat on the American Cancer Society Board for 8 out of the last 9 years. I loved this approach so that I did have to ask any of these questions. Matt swears that Dr. K must have called to warn him what a pain I am. I think it is just the way he does things.

He immediately showed us axial, sagittal and coronal view of my hip/pelvis/femur. It was amazing to correlate the pain with where the disease is at its worst. He showed me everything and I was very impressed with the breadth of his knowledge. His idea, get me in for 10 sessions as soon as possible. This way I would be able to fly to Philadelphia for the Advanced Breast Cancer Conference (where Elizabeth Edwards is the keynote speaker) in relative comfort. I asked the regular questions, "Would it hurt?" and "Would it take a long time?" No to both. They actually got my in for my first treatment the same day. The staff is so incredibly, organized that I left extremely impressed. I have 8 more to go. You are only in the machine (which is a $4 million piece of equipment) for about 4 minutes. $1 million per minute. That's a great value.

So lots of things have changed, I have my first tattoo. Granted it is only a pinprick to align to radiation beams but it is a tat nonetheless. Additionally, Dr. Taylor talked me into getting a cane. If only to let people know that I do have some sort of injury and that they should give me a wide berth. Matt had been asking me to get one for awhile but isn't the expert always from out of town? I sort of dig my little cane although it is in need of some serious bling. Plain black for match everything in my wardrobe. Would you expect anything less?

So many of you may be wondering what this has to do with the Colombian Pop Icon Shakira and me. Well, in her hit single "Hips Don't Lie" the lyrics read: "And I'm on tonight, you know my hips don't lie, and I'm starting to feel it's right. All the attraction, the tension, don't you see baby this is perfection."

I suppose simply put that after these 10 sessions my hips won't lie. If I can walk and roll over without pain then this is starting to feel right. The ease and quickness and paucity of side affects is the attraction. If I can start using less narcotic to handle the pain that this is even more attractive. The tension I can only attribute to the band the put around my feet to keep them still.

See baby, this is perfection.

A big thank you to everyone that has come to our assistance. My treatments are every day and this is the kid's Spring Break! I feel pretty out of it when I return home so we needed some help. You all came out of the woodwork to help. This, too, is perfection. We have amazing friends and family!

Estrogen is crack & cancer is a junkie.

I guess I have put it off long enough. I will now reveal to you all what has been going on. I caved to the multiple calls and emails politely asking, "Are you okay? Haven't heard from you and I'm worried." or just those of you that are brazen enough to write, "What the fuck is up?"

I had a MRI of the right hip/pelvis/femur 2 weeks ago and the bone mets have woken up and are back in action. My CA 27-29 took a 40 point jump and my oncologist said maybe that the spike in tumor markers coupled with my pain was probably indicative of new activity. The pain in my hip has become unbearable. I can barely walk and simple things like getting in the car, getting in and out of bed and stairs send me through the roof with pain. I am already on round-the-clock sustained release pain killers and have had to take more meds than ever for breakthrough pain.

My extremely aggressive cancer it acting extremely aggressive again. I had a Breast MRI and Mammogram last week. Two new tumors in the left breast. The right one, for the time being is clear.

I got in to see the Endocrinologist about my elevated estrogen and high DHEA levels and she told me that she had never seen anything like this. She was my kind of clinician. To the point, friendly and to wrap up my appointment she said she needed to go, so she could start looking at my films. I like someone who makes me feel like she is on it. She said when and if we get to the bottom of this medical mystery (she didn't bite at my 3rd ovary theory) she will have to write a paper for submission BECAUSE IT IS SO STRANGE! Freaks & Geeks on the Discovery channel here I come! She has some ideas about what it might be:

1. Adrenal hyperplasia
2. An estrogen secreting tumor on the adrenal glands
3. Some ovarian tissue that was left after hysterectomy

I asked if the adrenal glands can be removed and apparently one can have an adrenalectomy. There is a local surgeon that does the procedure. Problem is that the adrenal glands secrete "life necessary" (her words) hormones like cortisol. So, if I had the adrenals taken out it could potentially cause a whole host of endocrine related problems and I would have to take supplemental hormones for the rest of my life. This is not an attractive option to me.

She also said that a round of chemo might be prudent. Even though the endocrinologist, my gynecologist and my oncologist don't know what it is that is elevating the estrogen and DHEA levels it is clear that the cancer is feeding off the estrogen and causing growth.

Matt and I saw Dr. K today and he said that he could see it in my face that I am in agony. He said because I don't complain about pain this must be serious. He said I can't live in pain like this. It is probably not helping to contain the cancer spread if I am constantly in pain. I am off to get the hip radiated next week. I am fine with this because it should help within 2-3 weeks and apparently the side effects are minimal.

Then he said that I should probably prepare myself for some "tame" chemo. He doesn't know what kind yet and won't until he chats with the endocrinologist but it might start in May. It feels like everyone is looking to chemo to sort of interrupt the process or just kill it. It will work, of this I am certain.

So for now I am a little cranky and a little scared and a little angry. I hate these times when I am supposed to be accepting my "new normal." My "new normal" sucks. I want my "old normal" back.

I know that you are all out there rooting for us, praying for us and just waiting for something you can do. Don't worry we will be calling on friends/family soon. I am trying to get a lot of rest and have good pain control. Matt is displaying his rock solid command of the home and work front. He is busy preparing for what the future holds for our family. We will know more after Thursday when we meet with the radiation doctor.

So for now please no calls. Emails and texts are cool. We need to talk to the girls first.